I have to say, the Emmys have made some real strides in the last few years. There have been a lot fewer ridiculous winners and as last night’s ceremony pointed out, they are well ahead of the Oscars in recognizing diversity with their nominations. Last night’s Emmy telecast was enjoyable, but not all that exciting. A lot of the winners were pretty much a shoe-in, which took some of the tension out of the night. Jimmy Kimmel did a fine job overall as host; a few jokes didn’t land and he seemed particularly salty when it came to the real life people from the O.J. Simpson case, but I appreciated that the show was not padded with a lot of ridiculous skits or forced attempts at viral moments. Kimmel kept the show moving, had some pretty solid jokes, and brought the show in a few minutes early. So while there might not have been as much to write about this year in my running diary, it also didn’t feel like I spent three hours watching an awards show.
A word on my running diary – these times are probably WAY off. Because of computer issues I was watching on delay, so I had to guesstimate. I eventually caught up to real time, but these are educated guesses for the most part as to when they link up to the telecast. So if someone is out there breaking down the Emmy ceremony like the Zapruder film, there may be some discrepancies (also, you may have a problem). So with that giant caveat in place, I watched the Emmys so you didn’t have to.
8:00 – I’ll admit that my heart skipped a beat when they started the show with an ABC News Special Report. I immediately thought that there was another explosion in NYC. So maybe not the best way to kick things off.
8:01 – Recreating the white bronco chase is far more topical than I would have expected in 2016. Nice to see Malcolm Jamal Warner reprising his AJ Cowling role.
8:02 – Everyone does like Tom Bergeron.
8:03 – “Thanks a lot, Theo.”
8:04 – Man I haven’t seen Modern Family in a really long time. The kid that plays Luke is really grown up now.
8:05 – I got really excited when I saw the A-Team van drive by. That’s a missed opportunity right there.
8:06 – James Corden is everywhere this year. That’s not a bad thing. Watch your back, Fallon.
8:08 – This “Wake Me Up Before You GoGo” parody is fantastic.
8:09 – Everyone should have voted for Beyonce. I like “Carpool Karaoke” as much as the next person, but that shouldn’t have beaten Lemonade.
8:10 – All hail president Selena Meyers.
8:11 – “LBJ? That was my nickname in my high school Spanish club.” And THAT’s why Julia Louis-Dreyfus is going to win another Emmy tonight.
8:12 – Jeb Bush as an Uber driver? This is a weird election cycle.
8:13 – And those two minutes made Jeb! more likeable than his entire presidential campaign.
8:14 – Hitching a ride to the Emmys with Khalessi is the way to do it.
8:15 – Setting Ryan Seacrest on fire via dragon? Kind of my dream.
8:16 – Just giving Jeffrey Tambor the Emmy may save time.
8:17 – “If your show doesn’t have a dragon or a white Bronco in it, go home now.” Probably true.
8:18 – Marcia Clark Burn. But Sarah Paulson has your back.
8:19 – “This must be very strange for you. Are you rooting for OJ to win this time?”
8:23 – Mark Burnett gets singled out for being responsible for Donald Trump.
8:27 – Anthony Anderson and Tracee Ellis-Ross here to present outstanding supporting actor in a comedy. So many great actors in this category.
8:28 – Louie Anderson for Baskets. That wouldn’t have been my guess.
8:35 – Kimmel suggests that it may be time for Taraji P. Henson to drop the middle initial. Is she getting confused with other Taraji Hensons?
8:37 – Julie Bowen and Matt LeBlanc present outstanding writing in a comedy series.
8:38 – YAY! Aziz Ansari and Alan Yang win for Master of None, which I adored.
8:39 – Poor Aziz never got to say anything.
8:30 – Joel McHale and Kristen Bell present outstanding supporting actress in a comedy series.
8:31 – First win for Kate McKinnon for SNL. The last woman from SNL to win this? Gilda Radner.
8:32 – I enjoy that she clarifies that she is actually crying.
8:36 – Randall Park and Constance Wu discuss the Creative Arts Emmys, aka the not ready for primetime awards.
8:40 – Peter Scalari presents outstanding directing for a comedy series.
8:41 – Jill Soloway wins for Transparent, a series that I still have not watched yet.
8:42 – Wait – who brought their kid to the Emmys?
8:43 – “I’m trying to figure out if ‘topple the patriarchy’ is good for me. I don’t think so.” – Jimmy Kimmel, after Jill Soloway’s speech.
8:44 – Keegan Michael-Key here to present outstanding lead actress in a comedy series, which should just be called the Julia-Louis Dreyfus invitational at this point.
8:45 – Yup – 5th win in a row. Well deserved.
8:46 – “Veep has torn down the wall between comedy and politics. Our show started out as a political satire but it now feels more like a sobering documentary. So I certainly do promise to rebuild that wall and have Mexico pay for it.” – Julia Louis-Dreyfus
8:47 – On no – her father died Friday 😦
8:48 – Jeffrey Tambor to pay tribute to Garry Shandling.
8:52 – Jimmy Kimmel pranks the audience by announcing Bill Cosby as a presenter.
8:53 – James Corden to present outstanding lead actor in a comedy series.
8:54 – We could have saved time – Jeffrey Tambor is indeed the winner.
8:59 – America Ferrara and Mandy Moore present outstanding reality show. Either America is very short or Mandy is really tall.
9:00 – The Emmy goes to The Voice (and that traitor Mark Burnett).
9:01 – There are a LOT of people that work on The Voice.
9:02 – Jimmy’s mom has made PB&J for the audience. The Kids from Stranger Things are handing them out.
9:05 – And it’s the accountants and Leslie Jones. I expect hilarity and hijinks to ensue.
9:06 – Leslie Jones wants them to protect her Twitter account.
9:0 – Kerry Washington and Tony Goldwin to present outstanding writing in a limited series, movie or dramatic special.
9:07 – Kerry Washington is very pregnant.
9:08 – Not a huge surprise – a win for The People vs. OJ Simpson.
9:10 – Now the nominees for outstanding actress in a limited series
9:11 – Second win in a row for Regina King.
9:12 – That David Schwimmer “Juice” joke made me laugh way harder than it should have.
9:14 – Jimmy’s mom wrote notes to go with the sandwiches
9:15 – Amy Schumer ate hers, which was for the best since it was for Amy Poehler.
9:16 – Tom Hiddleston and Priyanka Chopra present outstanding directing for limited series/movie. They gracefully entered.
9:17 – And the winner is Hiddleston’s limited series, The Night Manager.
9:23 – Terrence Howard is presenting outstanding supporting actor in a limited series/movie. They apparently gave Tariji P. Henson the night of from being his minder.
9:24 – Well deserved win for Sterling K. Brown in The People vs. OJ Simpson. He was so damn good as Chris Darden. If you haven’t watched this series, do it!
9:26 – Claire Danes and Bryan Cranston present outstanding lead actress in a limited series/movie. This has got to be Sarah Paulson’s to lose.
9:27 – The voters for it right – Sarah Paulson gets the win. She was Marcia Clark.
9:34 – Amy Poehler and Tina Fey present outstanding lead actor in a limited series/movie. Amy explains why she didn’t attend the Creative Arts Emmys:
9:35 – This was a lock – Courtney B. Vance for The People vs OJ Simpson.
9:36 – Is “hottest chick rocking my chain” about to enter the popular lexicon? Jay Z, you’ve done it again.
9:36 – Jimmy Kimmel just implied Johnnie Cochran is in hell.
9:37 – Kyle Chandler and Michelle Dockery present outstanding TV movie. #TexasForever
9:38 – Sherlock takes home the award. I have to say, the Emmy voters mostly got it right this year.
9:42 – Keri Russel and Live Schreiber present outstanding limited series.
9:43 – How cute is Matthew Rhys – his face lit up as soon as Keri walked on stage.
9:44 – No surprise here – a win for The People vs. OJ Simpson.
9:47 – Aziz Ansari presents the award for best writing for a variety special. He finally gets to thank his parents. His dad is adorable.
9:48 – A win for Patton Oswalt. Would have liked to see Schumer here, but this is OK too.
9:49 – Patton paid tribute to his late wife.
9:50 – Andy Samberg and Kit Harrington present outstanding variety talk series, but first do some comedy (and maybe got engaged). Andy Samberg is crazy – who wouldn’t kiss Kyle Chandler?!?!
9:51 – Great win for Last Week Tonight with John Oliver. That man is doing God’s work.
9:52 – John Oliver, the first guy to asked to be played off.
9:53 – Matt Damon comes out to ask Jimmy Kimmel if he won (and then talk some trash).
9:54 – I love all shades of Matt Damon, but I may love funny Matt Damon most of all.
10:00 – Laverne Cox presents outstanding directing in a variety special.
10:01 – Grease Live! wins, which was pretty impressive. Chris Rock pretends to be mad that he lost.
10:02 – “I wouldn’t want to be those guys when Kanye finds out that they beat Beyonce.” – Kimmel
10:03 – Damon Wayans, “a Damon with actual talent,” presents outstanding variety sketch series.
10:04 – Key & Peele wins; I forgot the show was still eligible.
10:05 – Rami Malek and Abigail Spencer talk about more awards given out previously at the Creative Arts Emmys.
10:07 – Hank Azaria and Margo Martindale present outstanding writing in a drama series.
10:08 – Game of Thrones takes home their first, but probably not last, Emmy of the night.
10:16 – Michael Weatherly and Minnie Driver present outstanding supporting actress in a drama series. We all know how I feel about her.
10:17 – Maggie Smith wins, which is hilarious given Kimmel’s monologue.
10:18 – Now for outstanding direction in a drama series.
10:19 – Another win for Game of Thrones.
10:25 – Taraji P. Henson presents outstanding supporting actor in a drama series. She had a costume change!
10:26 – Ben Mendelsohn wins for Bloodlines, which is kind of a surprise. He’s not in attendance either.
10:27 – Hey – it’s the Fonz (aka Henry Winkler) to pay tribute to Garry Marshall.
10:29 – Now the In Memorium segment. Can we pick a song other than “Hallelujah”? It is so played out at this point. No offense to Tori Kelly, who did a beautiful job (watch it here).
10:32 – So many great people died since the last Emmy Awards. Alan Rickman still hurts.
10:33 – Prince is the last person in the montage, which seems weird since he really done anything with television (though he did appear on New Girl).
10:38 – Allison Janney is here to present outstanding lead actor in a drama series.
10:40 – Oh snap! Rami Malek wins for Mr. Robot. He’s the best.
10:41 – “Please tell me that you’re seeing this too!” That is hilarious if you watch the show (and you should).
10:42 – Kiefer Sutherland presents outstanding lead actress in a drama series.
10:43 – Tatiana Maslany wins for Orphan Black, a show that I have recommended to many people but haven’t actually ever watched. And Kiefer butchered the pronunciation of her name.
10:49 – Larry David will present Emmy for outstanding comedy series.
10:50 – “I go out on dates, I know how to feign interest.” – Larry David
10:51 – Man, Modern Family feels so out of place with all these other nominees.
10:52 – Veep wins. As they should.
10:52 – Julia Louis-Dreyfus pulled a Jennifer Lawrence.
10:52 – “I have a 9:30 am library shift at my son’s school tomorrow if anyone wants to switch, e-mail me” – Veep showrunner David Mandel
10:54 – Jimmy Smits and Dennis Franz present the final Emmy of the night – outstanding drama series.
10:55 – Game of Thrones takes it home. It will probably take 30 minutes to get all the cast on stage.
10:59 – And we’re done. Another Emmys in the books.
What did you think? Did you watch the telecast? Who do you think should have won? How did Jimmy Kimmel do? Let us know in the comments.