Oscars 2015 Running Diary

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Another Academy Award ceremony is in the books and I have to say, I was a little disappointed with the show this year. I had high hopes for Neil Patrick Harris given how he’s crushed hosting the Tony’s the last few years, but despite a strong start I thought his hosting abilities fell a bit flat. The jokes were way too punny and most of the bits that he did went over like a lead balloon. I don’t know if it was the writing or him, but it just didn’t work. Thankfully there were some great speeches and musical performances to make up for the flaws in the ceremony.

As always, I kept a running diary of my thoughts and observations while watching the Oscars. See if your thoughts match mine or find out what you missed.

8:30 – Thank goodness it’s starting. I didn’t think I could take any more red carpet nonsense. Let’s do this, Neil Patrick Harris.

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8:31 – Bradley Cooper always brings his mom as a date.

Watch the opening number here.

8:32 – Cumberbatch with a flask. He knows it will be a long night.

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8:33 – NPH is breaking out the magic early.

8:33 – Anna Kendrick is always a good addition.

8:34 – Now Jack Black, the voice of cynicism?

8:35 – Kendrick has had enough of his negativity.

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8:36 – The Rock is sitting with Oprah?

8:38 – #Smurfs2burn

8:39 – I wonder if Lupita Nyong’o ‘s dress is comfortable?

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8:40 – I really don’t know why Robert Duval was nominated. I was unimpressed with The Judge.

8:41 – A Ruffalo wink!

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8:41 – “The actor goes to.” First flub of the night.

8:42 – JK Simmons for Whiplash. Excited for him – he’s so good in that movie.

Watch his speech here.

8:43 – Simmons speech was a PSA for calling your mom. Sweet and unexpected.

8:44 – Ha – A shout out to Simmons’ role in Farmers Insurance commercials.

8:45 – The guy from PriceWaterhouse Cooper looks like  Matt Damon.

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8:46 – Octavia Spencer is now in charge of guarding NPH’s Oscar predictions. That bit didn’t really work.

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8:46 – Liam Neeson and JK Simmons in less than a three minute span? The Oscars are off to a scary start.

8:48 – Dakota Johnson in a red dress. A little too on the nose. #redplayroom

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8:49 – Begin Again was a cute movie. Go rent it. Adam Levine was actually good in it.

Watch the performance here.

8:51 – I was trying to put my finger on what was missing from the Oscars thus far. Tattoos. He needed to take his jacket off for this?

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8:57 – Please tell me one of the people opening the doors back there is Pharell.

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8:58 – Grand Budapest Hotel for costume design. Two for two!

8:59 – This lady better walk a little faster – her time will be up by the time she gets to the mic.

9:00 – Man, these jokes are TERRIBLE. I expected better from NPH.

9:01 – Reese Witherspoon to present best makeup and hairstyling.

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9:02 – Grand Budapest Hotel wins, ruining my perfect Oscar ballot. Also, that’s rubbish.

9:03 – Channing Tatum in a tux is never a bad thing.

9:05 – A joke about Bermuda shorts? Let’s take this commercial break to regroup and come up with some better material.

9:09 – Nicole Kidman and to present best foreign film. Good time to remind you that Jimmy Fallon blew his chance to date Kidman. That story is never not funny to me.

9:10 – Yay! Ida won. I really enjoyed that film. #Polandrepresent

9:12 – That dude just played chicken with the orchestra trying to play him off and won. I’ve never seen that happen.

9:13 – Octavia is not doing her job – she’s looking at the stage, not the lockbox.

9:14 – Introducing the Best Picture nominees this way seems really rushed.

9:15 – On no. We’re in the audience now. Get back on stage, Harris.

9:16 – Seat fillers getting a little love.

9:18 – EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!

Watch the performance here.

9:19 – Andy Samberg performing in a cape and a powder blue tux is everything. Also – is that a possum?

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9:19 – Audience members are getting LEGO statues. Damn – celebrities get everything.

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9:20 – Please tell me that is Will Arnettt as Batman. Plus Questlove!

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9:20 – That may be the most fun that we’ll see all night.

9:21 – I feel bad for the stage hands that have to clean up the stage after that. That was a lot of confetti at the end.

9:24 – No one in the audience loves their LEGO Oscar more than Channing Tatum.

9:25 – Olivia Pope and Michael Bluth to present Best Live Action Short. Confession – I blew this category off this year.

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9:26 – The camera people really messed that up.

9:26 – More acceptance speeches should start with “Crickey.”

9:27 – I do hope that guy gets his free donut; he wasted enough time  talking about it.

9:27 – The orchestra needs to get aggressive with playing people off or we’ll never get out of here; they backed down once and now it’s chaos. Throw JK Simmons in there!

9:28 – That was a long lingering shot on John Travolta for no apparent reason

9:29 – Now the Best Documentary Shorts…..didn’t see these either but I’m right again.

9:30 – WHAT IS UP WITH THAT POM POM DRESS???

9:31 – Viola Davis is here to tell us about the award ceremony that wasn’t deemed important enough for TV.

9:33 – Oh dear. More crowd work

9:34 – Oyelowo perfectly sums up how I feel about the Oscars thus far:

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9:34 – After applause for David Oyelowo NPH says “Oh, now you love him.”

9:35 – Gwyneth Paltrow is friends with everyone.

9:39 – Tim McGraw to sing for Glen Campbell. Such a sad and beautiful song.

See his performance here.

9:42 – Neil Patrick Harris in his underwear during a Birdman tribute. That’s confidence.

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9:42 – Ha! Miles Teller on drums.

9:44 – Miles Teller and Margot Robbie to talk about another award ceremony that wasn’t TV worthy.

9:45 – Siena Miller and Chris Evans present the sound categories. No patter, just down to business.

9:46 – Whiplash wins Best Sound Mixing. Good on them – that movie sounded great.

9:48 – It’s always fascinating to watch the dynamic of multiple winners on stage. Shouldn’t you sort out time allotments before you get on stage? It’s always one person hogging the mic and others trying to get a word in edgewise.

9:49 – American Sniper for Best Sound Editing. Always bet on the movie with a lot of gunshots.

9:51 – Jared Leto is always interesting. I like the flower on his lapel.

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9:53 – I love that Emma Stone is still holding her LEGO Oscar.

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9:54 – Unsurprisingly, Patricia Arquette wins Best Supporting Actress.

Watch her speech here.

9:55 – She’s cramming a lot into this speech.

9:56 –Using her time to call for equal wages and rights for women. #girlpower

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9:57 – Meryl and J Lo are all “right on, sister.” Ethan Hawke is also a fan.

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9:59 – Here’s the Peeta that won’t throw paint on you….Josh Hutchinson.” Either I’m tired or that was actually clever.

10:00 – Rita Ora to perform the nominated song from Beyond the Lights.

Watch her performance here.

10:02 – Does Chloe Grace Mortez’s dress have pockets?

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10:03 – Visual effects – Guardians of the Galaxy or I riot.

10:04 – Boo! Interstellar wins. Sigh…I’m too old to riot.

10:06 – Kevin Hart better watch it – Anna Kendrick is not going to put up with his foolishness. She already threw a shoe at Jack Black tonight.

10:07 – Feast is such a cute animated short. Definitely watch it if you get the chance – especially if you are a pet owner. And honestly, the other animated shorts this year were kind of meh.

10:08 – I do dig NPH’s maroon jacket.

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10:09 – The Rock and Zoe Saldana make a nice couple. Here to present Best Animated Feature.

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10:11 – Big Hero 6! Never been so glad to get a pick wrong. Such an adorable movie.

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10:13 – Are the orchestra playing NPH off?

10:20 – Chris Pratt in the house. Hopefully adding some much needed personality to these proceedings.

10:21 – Even Star Lord can’t make this interesting. Grand Budapest Hotel wins Best Production Design.

10:23 Confirmation – That WAS Will Arnett. Fabulous!

10:24 – Idris Elba? Now you have my full attention again.

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10:25 – Birdman wins for Cinematography. Edward Norton looks delighted.

10:30 – Meryl Streep for the In Memoriam aka “Bring out your dead” segment

Watch the segment here.

10:32 – I’d forgotten that Edward Hermann died. 😦

10:34 – Hmmm….Robin Williams didn’t get the last spot. And no Joan Rivers?

10:35 – I hate when they do this – no need for a whole separate performance after the montage. No disrespect to Jennifer Hudson – she’s great. But this is unnecessary.

Watch her performance here.

10:42 – Phew. I was just thinking to myself that this show was severely lacking in Cumberbatch. His been fairly low profile tonight.

10:44 – Dang – another one wrong. I would have thought putting together footage over twelve years would have earned Boyhood Best Film Editing. But Congrats to Whiplash!

10:46 – Lucious Lyon in the house! Please tell me that you people are watching Empire.

10:47 – Is Howard really getting this chocked up over The Imitation Game? This is really weird (Watch it here).

10:48 – The sound editing is just awful for this show. Either that or the microphone just attacked Terrence Howard.

10:49 – NPH just can’t seem to say David Oyelowo’s name right.

10:50 – Oyelowo and Jennifer Anniston to present Best Documentary Feature.

10:51 – Is the winner wearing leather arm bands?

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10:57 – Oh good. More jokes about the locked Oscar picks. Because that’s really working.

10:58 – John Legend and Common to perform “Glory.”

Watch the performance here.

11:00 – Really like the stage presentation for this song with the bridge and the marchers. Really captures the movie.

11:02 – That was legitimately powerful. Chris Pine is crying.

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11:03 – That was a tough segue to pull off.

11:04 – Finally – a solid joke “Benedict Cumberbatch is the sound you get when you ask John Travolta to pronounce Ben Affleck.”

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11:04 – Ha – John Travolta and Indina Menzel as presenters. That’s a solid decision. But he’s still hella creepy. Stop touching her face.

11:05 – A well-deserved win for “Glory.”

Watch their speech here.

11:07 – Common for President. Awesome speech. He and Patricia Arquette should team up.

11:08 – John Legend’s speech was great too.

11:12 – Scarlett Johannson to introduce whatever Lady Gaga is up to.

11:13 – Ugh – The Sound of Music? The timing of this couldn’t be any worse after that powerful Selma moment.

11:14 – Nothing against The Sound of Music, but it’s almost 11:15. Ain’t nobody got time for a tribute to a 50 year old musical.

Watch the performance here

11:15 – Why the hell is Lady Gaga standing so far back on the stage?

11:20 – OK. Wholly unnecessary, but Gaga did a fantastic job.

11:20 – Nice moment with Julie Andrews. But did Lady Gaga go back in time? Since when is she throwing around words like “incomparable?” I blame Tony Bennett for this.

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11:23 – The good night for Grand Budapest Hotel continues with a win for Best Original Score.

11:24 – Now Adrian Brody is winking at the camera. Is that the new go-to move?

11:29 – Is Eddie Murphy going to actually do something tonight?

11:30 – Birdman for Best Original Screenplay.

11:31 – I just love how Alejandro Inarritu says “Birdman.”

11:32 – Does Michael Keaton have snacks?

11:33 – Kneel down. Oprah is on stage.

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11:35 – The Imitation Game with a somewhat surprising win for Best Adapted Screenplay.

Watch his speech here.

11:35 – Ha! He thanks Oprah.

11:37 – Good use of his time. Nice speech by Graham Moore. “Stay weird, stay different.”

11:41 – Ben Affleck here to present Best Director, which is kind of ironic.

11:42 – Can we, as a nation, just agree to stop saying Birdman’s subtitle?

11:43 – The momentum is building for Birdman. Alejandro Inarritu wins.

11:44 – Was that John Stamos in the audience? Has he even been in a movie?

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11:48 – Home stretch – Cate Blanchett here to present Best Actor.

11:49 – I would love if they used the fake baby scene from American Sniper for Bradley Cooper. Just so everyone on Twitter would lose their minds.

11:50 – Let’s cut to the chase – did Michael Keaton bring his hot son?

11:51 – Ha! Cate Blanchett introduces the winner by saying “okey dokey smokie.”

11:52 – Eddie Redmayne? For reals? Michael Keaton was robbed.

Watch his speech here.

11:53 – A fine performance and a fine speech. Not my choice, but Redmayne was adorable in his excitement.

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11:54 – Alright, alright, alright – Matthew McConaughey to present Best Actress.

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11:56 – Hope no one was waiting to see Gone Girl. That clip just gave away a big plot twist.

11:57 – That pause had me worried, but it’s Julianne Moore for Still Alice.

Watch her speech here.

12:00 – Ugh – ENOUGH WITH NPH’s OSCAR PICKS ALREADY!

12:03 – Sean Penn is here to present Best Picture and look unhappy.

12:04 – “Who gave this son of a bitch his green card?” This is why we don’t let Sean Penn talk. Birdman for the win!

12:06 – We’ll wrap this up with some thoughts from Michael Keaton:

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So what did you think about the Oscars? How did NPH do? What were your favorite moments? Sound off in the comments below.

Some Thoughts on the How I Met Your Mother Finale

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Kids, let me tell you a story……

Sometime back in 2006, I decided to take a chance on a show that a lot of people were very enthusiastic about. It’s not often that the critics that I respect and the general consensus of the general public are in agreement, but the consensus of both groups was that CBS’s How I Met Your Mother was worth my time. Though I thought the title and premise were a little silly, I got the first season on DVD to see what all the fuss was about and I was instantly charmed by the show. I devoured that first season and was quickly up to speed, watching the antics of Ted, Barney, Robin, Lilly and Marshall live with the rest of America. While many people were fascinated with the idea of figuring out the identity of the mother, that quickly became a non-issue for me. I was far more charmed by the story of five friends than I was in the ultimate resolution of the shows titular question. The cast has such great chemistry and the show was so funny and well written that I was enjoying the journey and wasn’t too concerned about the destination. The show was quickly becoming one on my favorite comedies on TV.

And then…..it all sort of changed. I can’t pinpoint the exact moment that it happened, but the show started to go off the rails. It was subtle, at first, with a few uneven episodes somewhere in the 4th season that were not up to quality previous offerings. I initially chalked this up to age; the longer that sitcoms stay on the air, there is inevitable a period where the quality dips a bit as the series begins to run out of stories and some fatigue sits in. I was hoping that this was just a momentarily blip in the arc of the show. But as the season continued, the episodes did not improve. The characters that had been so well written were now shadows of their former selves. The writers appeared to be far more invested in the mythology that they created in the show and their constant focus on clues and misdirection became tiring. It was becoming harder and harder to become involved in any of Ted’s relationships when we knew from the beginning that none of these women were “the Mother.” The show paired Robin and Barney to great effect and then broke them up as quickly as they got them together for no apparent reason. By the time Jennifer Morrison turned up in the sixth season (and we all know how I feel about her), I was watching the show purely out of habit. But the combination of the horrible Zoe character and story lines that were not that funny (some by design, others not) was the ultimate death knell for the show for me. I hung on into the seventh season, but the episodes began to pile up on my DVR. It took this as a sign and just stopped watching, expecting to feel a little sad about abandoning a show that I had once enjoyed so much. Instead, I felt relieved that I was no longer forcing myself to waste my limited free time on a show that I had long since ceased to find any pleasure in.

I had not originally planned to revisit the show for its season finale; by this time, I knew the identity of the the mother (as did the rest of America) and figured that was all the closure I needed. But as the finale date drew closer, I began to sucked in to all the hype surrounding the end of a long running series. Lord knows that I hate to miss out on a pop culture phenomena and didn’t want to be excluded from the post finale chatter that was inevitably going to dominate the pop culture landscape the following morning. I was still on the fence until I watched the HIMYM cast on Inside the Actor’s Studio; I was reminded how much I enjoyed these actors and reliving some of the great moments of the show made me second guess myself. With so many delightful moments, had I misjudged the show? Perhaps I had been too harsh in my initial assessment and the show was not as bad as I remembered it to be in its later seasons. Nostalgia is a funny thing – it makes good things great and softens or eliminates your memories of the bad. So with an open mind and renewed affection for the show, I decided to watch the series finale despite having skipped seasons 8 and 9 in their entirety.

My mother raised me to believe that if you don’t have anything nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all. So……

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just kidding. I have no problem with saying not nice things. When it comes to how I felt about the series final of How I Met You Mother, I think my feelings can best be summed up by these characters from In Living Color:

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I have never felt more vindicated for abandoning a television show. Last night’s finale was seriously the worst. THE.WORST. Damon Lindelof may finally be off the hook for the ending to Lost, a finale that was disappointing but also made me feel actual emotions. By the time How I Met Your Mother ended, all I felt was rage which is pretty impressive given my total indifference to the show going in to the finale. I was still mad about it this morning.

To make this easier and to keep my ranting somewhat focused, I’m going to break down my problems with the finale into 5 major issues (spoilers from here on out):

 

  • Barney and Robin’s divorce -You cannot decide to spend the entire span of the final season on Barney and Robin’s wedding and they have them divorced within fifteen minutes of the final episode. Nope. Try again. The creators are basically admitting that they wasted your time and nothing that happens means anything – and I say this as a person who didn’t even spend the better part of six month watching the buildup to this big event only to see it unceremoniously dismantled almost instantly. Perhaps if the whole thing had been better paced or executed more precisely it wouldn’t have been so infuriating. But how it played out, it felt forced and rushed and just very manipulative. It also made it very clear that the creators’ end game was always Robin and Ted, which I don’t think anyone was hoping for.
  • The last episode was WAY too rushed – Again, this goes back to their terrible decision to focus on a single weekend for most of the final season and then suddenly kick the show into high gear for the last 60 minutes. There were enough major life decisions and events in that finale to have filled an entire 22 episode season; because it all unfolded so quickly, none of the events were given any time to breathe or have any real impact. Seriously – in the course of the finale, Ted meets the mother, they have 2 kids, Robin and Barney get divorced, Barney becomes a dad, Lily and Marshall have their third child, Ted and the mother get married, Robin becomes famous, Marhsall becomes a judge and the mother dies. That is a hell of a lot of ground to cover and ultimately it was all done so rat-a-tat-tat that none of it meant anything. I’m assuming some of these moments were supposed to illicit some sort of emotional response, but by the time most of them unfolded everyone at home realized where this all was headed. The pacing was just dreadful – with ten minutes left in the show, I had no idea how they were going to wrap this all up.
  • Not enough of the mother – The one thing that I think the show did right in the final seasons was in the casting of the mother; Cristin Milioti is great and fit right in with the rest of the group. The series has been building up our expectations for the mother over the last nine years, highlighting how awesome she is and all that jazz. So for a show that’s called How I Met Your Mother, it was conspicuous how little of the mother there actually was in the finale. Ultimately, she was a huge MacGuffin for the story that the creators decided to tell; in the end, she really didn’t matter at all, except allow a story telling device. The moment when Ted finally met Tracy – the moment the entire series was ostensibly building to –  was sweet, but within minutes of that she was dead (we assume) and Ted’s kids were encouraging him to ask out Aunt Robin. It felt like a tremendous cheat. I don’t even really care that Robin was the ending in theory- though considering all the time that they showed Ted getting over Robin and Robin falling in love with Barney it didn’t feel authentic – but for God’s sake, give the mother her moment in the sun. I guess they didn’t think they could get a show on the air that was called Why I Want to Bang Your Aunt Robin Now That Your Mother Is Dead. And really – do we think that the main fivesome are going to be able to handle Ted dating Barney’s ex-wife? I’m going to go out on a limb and say no. There will always be issues. Always.
  • There is no way Ted would wait so long to marry the mother – Yeah – this is a guy that tells people that he loves them on a first date, yet we are supposed to believe that it took two kids and 5+ years for him to make Tracy his wife? No sale. We have spent the last 9 years watching Ted showing what a grand romantic he is and his burning desire for a wife. And then he just doesn’t get around to making it legal? Do you even know your characters.
  • Most of the finale was pretty depressing – The first 30 minutes of the show were nothing but people be miserable. I get that life isn’t always fun and everything doesn’t have to end up with a big shiny bow on it, but this show is supposed to be a comedy. I don’t know that I laughed once during the finale. That is a problem for a comedy. There were attempts at jokes in all this nonsense, but they felt old and tired. A funnier finale and I may have been able to forgive some of the other flaws, but watching the How I Met Your Mother finale was nowhere near a pleasurable experience. It felt like work; the only joy I derived from it was knowing that my instincts to bail on the show were dead on. Watching this show again was like going back to an ex and trying to make it work. When I walked away, I should have stayed away.

I have basically nothing redeeming to say about the ending of the show. What is even more infuriating is that this is the ending that was planned all along – the final scene with Ted’s kids was filmed back in the second season (to avoid the issue of the aging of the actors playing the kids). This was always how it would end; I can’t even give the writers the benefit of the doubt that they came up with this on the fly and hadn’t thought the series through fully. This makes some of the choices over the last nine years all the more baffling. Their rigidity to this predetermined outcome was ultimately their undoing, in my opinion – they decided that Ted would end up with Robin (we presume – though I kind of like the idea of Robin rejecting him AGAIN and that Ted and the mother wouldn’t meet until the final episode and refused to budge on either, even when creatively that handcuffed them and resulting in an unsatisfying ending. Had they plotted this out better or introduced the mother earlier in the process, I could vaguely see how this all could have worked out. But the piss pour execution has soured me not only on the finale, but on the entire series. And there is no way in hell that I’ll even consider watching How I Met Your Dad (and so help me God if that show winds up being the story of how #31 meets Barney).

There’s no other way to say it: that was a terrible finale. I’m glad that those actors now have the chance to go off and do other things. I’m just mad that I wasted an hour of my life getting sucked back into this garbage. At least one final issue was resolved – the last remaining slap from the Slapsgiving bet was apparently reserved for the audience.

What did you think of the How I Met Your Mother finale? Do you agree with me or did you think it was satisfying? Sound off in the comments below.

 

Heather’s Emmy Diary

I generally hate the Emmys; of all the awards shows, they are the one that I think most consistently get the winners wrong. Emmy voters tend to reward the same people over and over and often celebrate the one person in the category that you were surprised was nominated to begin with (Jon Cryer, anyone?). I can never forgive an institution that failed to recognize The Wire. But I do enjoy Neil Patrick Harris a great deal and think that he is a tremendous host. He’s made the Tonys a great award show to watch, even if you don’t know much about Broadway shows. So it was the affection I have for NPH that got me to tune in, not the actual awards. I kept a running diary of my thoughts as the ceremony unfolded.

Here we go……

  • Supercuts – I approve
  • Is this the first time that Baba Booey  got a shout out during the Emmys?

 

  • Yay – Kimmel is getting involved.
  • FALLON!
  • BIG ovation for Conan. Nice to see all the late night hosts playing nice.
  • Very enjoyable House of Cards spoof.
  •  Tina and Amy – fantastic. Give them the Golden Globes again.

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  • Hey – they gave their popcorn to Matt Damon.

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  • Great stage entrance – I assume that was in homage to Jennifer Lawrence.

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  • Outstanding Supporting Actress in Comedy – Mayim Bialik is my pick. But holy hell there are a LOT of nominees in this category.
  • Whoa – Merritt Wever for Nusrse Jackie. The only show I don’t watch regularly. It’s nice to see Edie Falco so proud of her co-star.
  • Her speech was succinct.

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  • Ooohh… I like Malin Akerman’s dress. LL Cool J is a handsome man, but enough with these hats already.

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  • I like these comedy writer nominees bits. I’m guessing Tina Fey will win since this was the last season of 30 Rock. Emmy voters love to recognize that stuff.
  • Rural Janitor? Did these idiots mean Rural Juror?
  • Ha! Tina: “No one said you could talk.”

 

  • NPH getting a little saucy with that Thailand joke.
  • Ugh – the Deschanel sisters. Not a fan.

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  • Outstanding supporting actor in a comedy series – I’ve got Tony Hale. All the Modern Family cast will cancel each other out. Plus he’s great on Veep.
  • I was right – Buster Bluth is an Emmy winner! Hooray.
  • Robin Williams’ tribute to Jonathan Winters. This could go either way; he really just can’t contain himself sometimes even with the best intentions.
  • I don’t know how I feel about these individuals memorials. This seems more like a popularity contest than usual. Plus all this time dwelling on death is kind of downer for an awards ceremony.

 

  • OMG – Jon Hamm is gorgeous even with a beard. I normally wouldn’t consider myself a beard person, but between this and Joe Manganiello, I may have to reconsider.

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  • Outstanding Actress in a Comedy Series – no idea. This could go many different ways.
  • Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Can’t argue with that. Big night for Veep – and I love Tony Hale coming up with her. They accept in character. Outstanding!

 

  • Margo Martindale and Will Arnett  – two people trapped in a really terrible CBS comedy. They don’t even get to present real awards – just the awards that were already given out.
  • What is Melissa Leo wearing? I’m not even sure if all of those colors go together.

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  • Best directing in a comedy series goes to Gail Manciso for Modern Family. Ugh – the Modern Family obsession at the Emmys continues. But interesting that she is only the second woman to ever win .
  • “Happiest night of her life” – I wonder how her husband and kids feel about that.
  • I love “Blurred Lines” as much as the next person, but I don’t know that it should get mentioned in an Emmy acceptance speech.
  • They are playing people off very quickly – not a fan.
  • Sofía Vergara looks amazing as usual.

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  • Best actor in a comedy series – I’ve got Jim Parsons (Louis C.K. should win, but Emmy voters are conservative and predictable)
  • Yup – I was right. I like Parsons and his portrayal of Sheldon, but I think the character is getting too cartoony.
  • Carl Reiners with the Jean Stapleton memorial – I loved her as Edith Bunker.
  • He’s getting emotional, which is making me emotional.

 

  • This is a terrible transition. You shouldn’t do a promo after a memorial – especially with an older gentleman like Bob Newhart. That’s just tacky.
  • Michael Douglas and Matt Damon , here to introduce a Liberace tribute by Elton John.
  • This is fine and all, but they really should use this time to let award winners speak, not to honor a guy who died 25 years ago just because he happened to be the subject of an HBO movie (which only showed on HBO because theaters wouldn’t distribute it)
  • Plus – I’m kind of over Elton John. I’m fast forwarding through this.

 

  • Outstanding Lead Actress in a Mini-series – I hope it is Elizabeth Moss for Top of the Lake.
  • Blah – Laura Linney. I’m sure she was fine, but Moss deserved this.
  • No Jason Segal in this HIMYM bit? I call shenanigans.
  • There he is – um…he looks kind of terrible. Is he sick? Something is off here.
  • This is cute, but this is going on a little long.
  • Ha – “The Ryan Seacrest Center for Excessive Hosting.”

 

  • Connie Britton – Love her. She has the best hair on television.
  • They should have given her better material – their patter was particularly awful.
  • Outstanding writing in a drama series – this has to be Breaking Bad, no?
  • I guess no – Homeland wins.
  • Awww….the guy who won passed away and his widow is accepting his award. This is touching and also means that the speech will probably be pretty short.
  • Yup – simple and short.
  • Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series – I don’t want to pick between Christina Hendricks and Anna Gunn, which may be moot since I’m guessing this goes to Maggie Smith.
  • Hot damn! Anna Gunn won! So deserved. I like her dress a lot too.

 

  • Umm orchestra – I don’t suggest playing this woman off – Cranston may get all Heisenberg on you.
  • OK – I have a real beef with this Corey Monteith tribute. I am sad that he died and I liked him a lot, but he in no way accomplished enough to deserve this kind of prominenece. The other people had a lifetime of work and created seminal characters – Glee is kind of a stupid show and Monteith’s acting career was just beginning. His death was shocking, but this is not appropriate.

 

  • Song and dance time with NPH
  • That was impressive tumbling.
  • Again – this is all fine and good, but the time should go to winners.
  • Nathan FIllion – I’m suddenly OK with this number.

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  • Best reality show – Yawn.
  • The Voice wins – hooray I guess.
  • How far away were The Voice team sitting that it took them that log to get to the stage?
  • Diahann Carroll and Kerry Washington – did all presenters have head shots when they came out? I didn’t notice them before.
  • Whoa – BURN on Lloyd Nolan, who Carroll apparently didn’t think was very attractive. That’s cold, woman.
  • Kerry Washington looks a little nervous. Perhaps Carroll is a wild card.
  • Supporting Actor in a drama series – love a lot of people in this category, but got to go with Aaron Paul.
  • Bobby Canavale? That, right there, is some bullsh*t. No offense to Mr. Cannavale, who I do like, but you cannot compare anything on Boardwalk Empire to the genius of Breaking Bad. Terrible, terrible choice.
  • Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series – I’m so thrown by the winner of the last category that I now have NO idea who wins this. Should be Cranston (or my man Hamm) but I have lost my faith in Emmy voters.
  • JEFF DANIELS??!?!???! WTF EMMY VOTERS? Newsroom is a terrible show and while I got no beef with Daniels, this is an outrage. I literally threw the remote across the room.
  • Seriously – is this some kind of joke? Are these the bizarro awards? When do they give out the real Emmys?
  • Maybe this award show is really Kimmel’s greatest prank ever.
  • This YouTube video sums up how I feel right now:

 

  • Wait – what is happening? Are we doing a memorial to JFK now? Nothing would surprise me at this point.
  • I forgot that JFK, Jr. spent his third birthday at his father’s funeral. That really makes my own crappy birthday not look so bad.
  • Now we’re talking about The Beatles – what year is this?
  • Carrie Underwood singing “Yesterday” – this whole segment is a hodgepodge, a mess and a waste of my time.
  • More Fallon – this is an improvement.
  • The moving microphone – not a new bit, but still amusing.

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  • Lead actress in a Drama – I’m guessing Claire Danes.
  • Whew – the Emmys have gotten back on script. Not who I would have picked (again – got to love Elizabeth Moss), but this makes sense.
  • Nice tribute by Danes to the deceased Homeland writer.
  • It is weird to see Emilia Clarke with her dark hair. I’m used to Khalessi being a blonde. I can’t even begin to imagine Dean Norris with hair.

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  • Best guest actor and actress in a drama series – these were actually already awarded, but I have no idea who won. I’m surprised that Burt Cooper is considered a guest role on Mad Men. No idea on the actors, but Margo Martindale was epic on The Americans.
  • Wrong again – Carrie Preston for The Good Wife (a show that I admittedly do not watch). She’s also on True Blood, so this is kind of a surprise as she isn’t that amazing on that show. But good on her, I guess.
  • Well these people got something right – a standing ovation for first time Emmy winner Bob Newhart. Well deserved.

 

  • Best writing in a variety series – oh man, these are all my babies.
  • Colbert beats Stewart! This usually goes the other way.
  • Michael J. Fox with a tribute to the creator of Family Ties, Gary Goldberg.
  • Outstanding choreography? That’s a thing on TV?
  • That’s nice – they finally get to be on the real broadcast. That’s the equivalent to getting to sit at the grown-up table.

 

  • Those hands coming out of that wall was kind of creepy. It also reminded me of a game on The Price is Right.

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  • The How I Met Your Mother ladies look nice.

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  • Whoa – The Colbert Report wins again for best variety series. Poor John Oliver will never get to host again.
  • Stephen Colbert gives a nice tribute to his mom who passed away this year.
  • Oh man – Edie Falco with the James Gandolfini tribute. This breaks my heart.
  • Edie tearing up = me bawling.

 

  • Who did Anna Faris’ makeup? She looks terrible.

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  • These CBS promos within the ceremony are tacky.
  • Outstanding Writing in a Mini-series – I have no idea who will win, but man did I hate Parade’s End. Critics raved about it, but even with Benedict Cumberbatch I couldn’t get through it. So boring.
  • I really like Kaley Cuoco’s dress.

65th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals

  • This was a weird little moment

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  • And now the normal In Memorium segment. Too much focus on death this year. And I hate that the Emmys allow you to hear the applause for each person.
  • I’ll admit – I am half paying attention at this point.
  • Wait – was Kevin Spacey hitting the camera a bit or not? I’m having a hard time figuring out what is planned and what isn’t. I think that’s a problem.

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  • Steven Sorderbergh does not look anything like I thought he did.
  • Best lead actor in a mini-series – has to be Michael Douglas.
  • Who knew Douglas was so funny?

 

  • I’m assuming Outstanding Mini-series will be Behind the Candelabra. It really was so well done.
  • Will Ferrell? What does he have to do with TV? I’m not complaining – he’s hilarious – but seems like an odd choice.
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A family affair – Ferrell brought his three kids on stage with him

  • Best comedy series – Modern Family will win because the Emmy voters are drones.
  • Best drama series – this category is STACKED. It hurts me to choose, but I’m going with Breaking Bad.
  • Yeah! They won the Emmy, bitch!
  • Why am I just finding out that Vince Gilligan’s partner’s name is Holly? This seems like important info.
  • That’s it? It’s over? No wrap up? That was abrupt.

In all honesty, this award show kind of stunk. It was far too depressing and they wasted too much time on stuff that no one cares about, to the detriment of the winners. Neil Patrick Harris gave it his best shot, but there wasn’t much he could do to turn around this sinking ship.  This was boring and there were too many awards where the wrong person won. All the dwelling on death was morbid; this Tweet summed the night up perfectly:

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Boo to the Emmys – you wasted my Sunday night and forced me to not watch Breaking Bad. Shame on you!

A compete list of the 2013 Emmy winners can be found here.