2016 Running Oscar Diary

It’s become an annual tradition – my running diary of watching the Oscars. I love the Oscars and was looking forward to this year’s ceremony for a plethora of reasons, not the least of which was because I wanted to see what Chris Rock had up his sleeve. I knew he wouldn’t shy away from the #OscarsSoWhite controversy; in fact, this kind of played into his wheelhouse as a comedian, so the stars were aligning for him to give a good performance. And of course, all of the nation was waiting with bated breath to see if this was going to be the year that Leonardo DiCaprio finally brought home an Oscar, mostly so we could stop worrying about it. It still cracks me up that people, including myself, are taking his failure to win an Academy Award so personally. If he wins an Oscar or not, that dude is still living his best life.

So without further ado…..on to my real-time thoughts of watching the Academy Awards.

8:28 – Even Adele is pulling for DiCaprio tonight:

Good luck Leo! Everyone loves you because you're the best. Meet me at the clock anytime bruv X pic.twitter.com/buPmIdhYyo

— Adele (@Adele) February 28, 2016

 

8:30 – And we’re off……

8:30 – Kicking things off with a montage of movies, Oscar worth and not. Seem to be showing a lot of Straight Outta Compton. It’s like they are trying to make up for something.

8:33 – Here’s Chris Rock. Can’t wait to hear what he has to say. (Watch his full monologue here).

8:33 – Lots of commentary about #OscarsSoWhite. He’s taking this bull by the horns.

8:34 – On why he didn’t quit hosting the Oscars “I couldn’t lose another job to Kevin Hart.”

8:35 – “This is the 88^th Academy Awards. This no Black nominees thing has happened probably 71 other times.”

8:36 – “When your grandmother is swinging from a tree, it’s hard to care about Best Documentary Foreign Short.” That got dark quickly. P.S. – That isn’t even a real category.

8:37 – “Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna’s panties. I wasn’t invited.” – BURN

8:38 – “This year’s In Memorium segment is just going to be Black people shot by the police.” That one didn’t go over as well, but still a solid joke. I’m with you, Chris.

8:40 – “Hollywood is ‘sorority racist. It’s like ‘We like you Rhonda, but you’re not a Kappa.'” As an actual Kappa, I should be be more offended by this, but he’s not wrong. The Greek system overall isn’t very integrated.

8:43 – A really strong monologue from Chris Rock. I think he killed it.

8:44 – Emily Blunt and Charlize Theron to present Best Original Screenplay.

Getty Images

8:44 – There’s weird pop-ups to tell us who these presenters are. If you’re watching the Oscars I’d guess that you know who most of these people are, but maybe not.

8:47 – The winner is Spotlight. I’m 1/1 with my predictions.

8:47 – They need to slow that Oscar scroll down – those names are flying by way too fast. Even a little slower and they might be more useful.

8:48 – Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe present Best Adapted Screenplay.

8:49 – I love when they let Gosling be funny.

8:52 – The Big Short wins, so Adam McKay is now an Oscar winner. Love it! Now I’m 2/2.

8:53 – I think the point of the scroll is so the speeches wouldn’t just be a list of names. So far, that hasn’t really happened. You’d think the writers would have been able to do better.

8:58 – Loving this – putting Black actors in Oscar nominated movies. Watch it here.

8:58 – Whoopie in Joy.

8:59 – OMG – Leslie Jones subbing in for the bear in The Revenant is perfection.

8:59 – Tracy Morgan as the Danish Girl.

9:00 – Chris Rock in The Martian. “I told you they weren’t going to bring you back.”

9:01 – I can’t believe Stacey Dash agreed to that. The silence was DEAFENING.

9:01 – The Weeknd’s reaction says it all:

9:01 – Sarah Silverman introduces Best Original Song, “Writing’s on the Wall.” We all know how I feel about this stupid song.

9:03 – “James Bond – not street enough.” Agreed, Sarah. Agreed.

9:05 – Chris Rock’s best throwaway line of the night so far – telling Sam Smith “My favorite song was ‘Father Figure.’”

9:06 – Kerry Washington and Henry Cavill present clips from Best Picture nominees The Martian and The Big Short.

9:07 – I wish Cavill got to speak with his normal voice more often. I love his accent.

9:09 – J.K. Simmons to present Best Supporting Actress.

9:12 – Woot! Alicia Vikander, the best thing about The Danish Girl, wins. I’m 3/3.

9:12 – Hold up…is she dating Michael Fassbender?!?! How lucky can one girl get?

9:13 – I like her dress:

9:18 – Cate Blanchett to present Best Costume Design.

9:20 – Mad Max: Fury Road wins. My first miss of the night. 3/4

9:21 – Why do all the winners for costume design always dress so oddly? Is that a rule?

9:22 – Tina Fey and Steve Carell present Best Production Design.

9:23 – Another win for Mad Max. This one I predicted. 4/5

9:25 – Margot Robbie and Jared Leto walking and talking to present Best Makeup and Hairstyling.

9:26 – LOL – I do not recommend Googling ‘merkin.’

9:26 – Third in a row for Mad Max. 5/6 Never bet against anything that manages to make Charlize Theron slightly less gorgous

9:27 – All nominees should be sitting closer to the stage. It’s not fair the less famous people have to walk so far.

9:28 – Benicio Del Toro and Jennifer Garner to present clips from Best Picture nominees The Revenant and Mad Max: Fury Road.

9:29 – Nice that the bear from The Revenant got to attend!

9:34 – The real Joy, Michael Rezendes (Spotlight) and “Suge Knight” are in attendance:

9:35 – Rachel McAdams and ‘shoulda be nominee’ Michael B. Jordan (PREACH) present Achievement in Cinematography. That’s a gorgeous pair right there.

9:37 – The Revenant wins, as expected. 6/7

9:38 – Liev Scrieber and Priyanka Chopra present Best Film Editing.

9:39 – Those pop-ups came in handy for spelling those names correctly.

9:40 – Mad Max: Fury Road is cleaning up in all the technical categories. I really dug that film. 7/8

9:41 – Black History Month Minute!

Here's tonight's Black History Month Minute.https://t.co/rPBKac5fdl

— The Academy (@TheAcademy) February 29, 2016

 

9:42 – Ha-ha – they honor Jack Black! I totally forgot that he was in Enemy of the State.

9:43 – “The Minions are coming” sounded vaguely like a threat.

9:47 – Chadwick Boseman and Chris Evans to present Best Sound Editing. That explains all the noise before they came on stage, which I would argue was not good editing because it made no sense.

9:49 – Another win for Mad Max: Fury Road. I foolishly tried to diversify with a pick for Star Wars. 7/9

9:49 – Ironic that there was no sound for the first part of their acceptance speech. Here’s why (I’m a Fifth Element fan):

9:50 – Awards shows need about 75% more Aussies. What a fun bunch.

9:50 – Boseman and Evans back to present Best Sound Mixing.

9:52 – The Oscar goes to Mad Max. I should have expected a sweep. The sound categories are apparently my Waterloo 7/10

9:53 – A mini-tribute to the great motion-capture work of Andy Serkis.

9:54 – Ah – he’s presenting Best Visual Effects. That makes sense.

9:56 – Oh shit – Ex Machina! Didn’t expect them to get this, but it is well deserved, even if that drops me to 7/11.

9:58 – Olivia Munn and Jason Segel here to talk about the Sci Tech awards show that no one cares about.

9:58 – Mark your calendars – August 27^th, the robots take over. I hope they let me still see Adele in September.

9:59 – Hey it’s R2-D2, C-3P0 and BB-8. You should be impressed that I knew all of their names.

9:59 – You now have Jacob Tremblay’s attention.

10:00 – C-3PO does look like the Oscar statuette:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Mental Floss (@mental_floss)

 

10:03 – Bette Midler knows what’s up about #OscarsSoWhite:

The Oscars are today! You know, the awards show where Leonardo DiCaprio is "overdue" but black people can "wait till next year."

— bettemidler (@BetteMidler) February 28, 2016

10:05 – Chris Rock out in the audience. Something tells me he isn’t going to be taking a selfie.

10:05 – Nope – he’s going to try to get the audience to buy some Girl Scout cookies. That stuff sells itself. John Legend is quick to buy some for his pregnant wife. Smart man.

10:06 – Honestly I’m impressed these people carry cash.

10:06 – OF COURSE Matt Damon shares his cookies. He’s the best.

10:07 – So did Leo buy cookies or not after being called out? Inquiring minds want to know.

Update: It appears Leo did in fact buy some cookies. Wouldn’t have pegged him as a shortbread guy. Leo’s full of surprises.

10:07 – The Minions here to present Best Animated Short. There will be a day when I don’t find them funny. Today is not that day – they still make me smile. Probably because I don’t have kids.

10:08 – Bear Story wins, but by the time these people make it from their seats, their time will be up.

10:09 – First Oscar for Chile.

10:10 – Buzz Lightyear and Woody from Toy Story present Animated Feature Film.

10:11 – No surprise here – the Oscar goes to Inside Out. 8/12

10:13 – Kevin Hart gets to present Best Original Song “Earned It” by the Weeknd.

10:14 – “I only came tonight because I thought I’d get a seat in the front row this year.”

10:15 – This song can’t win simply because no one wants to have to call Fifty Shades of Grey an Oscar winning movie.

Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images

10:16 – I wonder who thought “What this performance needs is an aerial acrobat.”

10:1 – These musical performances have been pretty underwhelming so far. And I think it’s nonsense that they only let three of the five nominated artists perform.

10:18 – Cookie update – Mindy Kahling was a customer:

https://twitter.com/mindykaling/status/704141826031095809

10:21 – Kate Winslet and Reese Witherspoon present clips from Best Picture Nominees Bridge of Spies and Spotlight.

10:22 – Reese’s makeup makes it look like someone just smacked her.

10:24 – Chris Rock visits a movie theater in Compton. Watch it here.

10:25 – “Was it slap a White man bad?”

10:26 – “Tom Hanks? I’ve heard of him.”

10:27 – Leo found that bit funny.

10:28 – Patricia Arquette to present Best Supporting Actor.

10:29 – This entire award show was worth it just for this:

10:31 – Upset! Mark Rylance wins over Sylvester Stallone. 8/13

10:33 – That was the best speech so far.

10:35 – Don’t feel bad Sylvester Stallone – Arnold still loves you:

.@TheSlyStallone To me, you're the best, no matter what they say. pic.twitter.com/zs4ZLl1nhY

— Arnold (@Schwarzenegger) February 29, 2016

 

10:37 – Louis CK to present Best Documentary Short, his favorite award.

10:38 – “This Oscar is going home in a Honda Civic.” He’s secretly making a case for him to host next year.

10:39 – “A Girl in the River” wins. Sorry that I didn’t get to see any of the shorts this year.

10:41 – Daisy Ridley and Dev Patel present Best Documentary Feature. I got through two more of these today. Would have watched more, but I got distracted by a Golden Girls marathon.

10:42 – Amy wins, which was one of them. Highly recommened (free on Amazon Prime). I’m 9/14.

10:44 – The accountants this year:

10:45 – Aw – the poor little guy missed his mark. And that joke was really tone deaf given that this year is about diversity. Not the time to do a joke about Asian stereotypes. Next year stick to bringing out the Matt Damon-doppelganger guy.

10:48 – The Girl Scout tote board:

10:49 – Dang. I should have sold cookies at award shows. “Suge Knight” was their best customer:

10:50 – Whoopie Goldberg to talk about the honorary Oscars that were given out in months earlier.

10:52 – Now we hear from the Academy President, Cheryl Boone Isaacs.

10:54 – Louis Gossett, Jr. to present the In Memorium segment, which normally sucks, but features Dave Grohl this year so it’s already 100 times better.

10:55 – Alan Rickman 😦

10:58 – They needed a longer song. “Blackbird” repeats itself a lot. And kind of a weird choice given the theme of this year’s ceremony.

10:59 – Leonard Nimoy gets the power position at the end. I’d forgotten that he died this year.

11:03 – Jacob Tremblay and Abraham Attah present Best Live Action Short.

11:03 – “Thanks, Chris. You were great in Madagascar.” This kid can’t help being freaking adorable.

11:05 – The winner is Stutterer.

11:06 – People – stop shaking hands on the way. You are losing valuable time.

11:06 – Sofia Vegara and Byung-hun Lee present Best Foreign Language Film.

11:08 – Son of Saul (Hungary) wins. I told you Hollywood loves Holocaust moves. 10/15

11:09 – Hey – it’s Joe Biden! He’s getting a standing ovation.

11:10 – “I’m the least qualified man here tonight.”

11:11 – He’s here to introduce Lady Gaga performing “Til It Happens To You” from The Hunting Ground and talk about the issue of sexual assault on college campuses.

 

11:14 – Powerful moment – Gaga joined on stage by victims of sexual assault.

 

11:15 – Bless her heart – during the commercial break Brie Larson hugged as many of the survivors as she could

Then best actress fave Brie Larson gets up, hugs each, every one. #Oscars pic.twitter.com/OI3cFZaLtl

— Chris Gardner (@chrissgardner) February 29, 2016

 

11:19 – Pharrell Williams and Quincy Jones present Best Original Score.

11:20 – It’s weird to see Pharrell without a hat.

11:22 – Suck it John Williams! Ennio Morricone wins for The Hateful Eight.

11:25 – Common and John Legend here to award Best Original Song.

11:25 – Safe to bet that if your song wasn’t performed, you probably ain’t winning.

11:27 – Ugh – Sam Smith wins for “Writing’s on the Wall.” That is some straight up bulls*&t. 10/16

11:27 – And even without looking it up, Sam Smith is not the first openly gay person to win this award unless Melissa Etheridge and Elton John have been pulling a long con on all of us. I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt that he doesn’t think he’s the first openly gay person to win ANY Oscar. Because then he’s even dumber.

11:28 – Olivia Wilde and Sacha Baron Cohen to present clips from Room and Brooklyn.

11:29 –Cohen is presenting as Ali G. I’m sure Olivia is thrilled.

11:35 – JJ Abrams to present Best Director. Let’s finish strong.

11:37 – No surprise – Alejandro G. Inarritu (The Revenant) for the win. 11/17.

Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP

11:42 – “It’s late. Infomercial late.” –Chris Rock, you have no idea.

11:43 – Eddie Redmayne to present Best Actress.

11:47 – Brie Larson wins for Room which is well deserved. If she’d lost, I would have been worried for Leo, since she was a lock. 12/18

11:47 – I so love the relationship that she has with her young co-star.

11:51 – Julianne Moore to present Best Actor, also known as the Leonardo DiCaprio Invitational.

11:55 – FINALLY! The words we’ve all be waiting to hear: “The Oscar goes to…..Leonardo DiCaprio.” 13/19

11:55 – Leo winning brings people together. Even Kanye is happy about this:

https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/704173836372217857

11:56 – “Let us not take this planet for granted. I do not take tonight for granted.”

.@SamsungMobileUS presents Leo's Best Actor #Oscars acceptance speech!https://t.co/4LDPWoVSKv

— ABC (@ABCNetwork) February 29, 2016

 

11:57 – I kind of was hoping he would get a little emotional.

11:58 – Kate’s getting emotional for him.

11:58 – Morgan Freeman here to present Best Picture. When the voice of God appears, you know it’s almost over.

11:59 – Spotlight! That’s what I personally wanted to win, but I didn’t think it would. I don’t even care that I was wrong; this is a great movie. Michael Keaton is excited:

https://t.co/tifC6LX6un—
Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) February 29, 2016

12:00 – I’m ending the night 13/20. Not my best year, but not my worst.

12:02 – Michael Keaton is a Thin Mints man. That seems right.

12:04 – Public Enemy’s “Fight the Power” over the final credits may be a bit much.

Despite the fact that the Oscars ran nearly 30 minutes over, I think it was still a successful broadcast. There were a few notable missteps, but overall I think Chris Rock did a really great job. I’m happy with most of the winners, even the ones I got wrong, except Sam Smith because I want to punch that guy in the face. The evening actually moved along pretty quickly, which is saying something. Hopefully #OscarsSoWhite won’t be a talking point next year, though I think it is an important issue to be discussed. And now I’m hungry for some Girl Scout cookies. ANyone got a box of Samoas that they want to share?

The Revenant – A Review

It’s kind of hard to believe that people feel sorry for a rich, young, handsome actor who seems to have his pick of roles and supermodels, but that’s the position that we find ourselves in when it comes to Leonardo DiCaprio. While the dominant buzz about the Academy Awards has been its failure to nominate any actors of color, the subplot seems to be concern over whether this is the year that DiCaprio finally brings home an Oscar. This narrative picked up steam after 2014, when DiCaprio was nominated (and lost) for Wolf of Wall Street. People were suddenly very invested in whether he would ever win the Oscar and instantly Leonardo DiCaprio was cast in perhaps the most interesting role of his life – underdog.

I’m guessing that people are as interested in this Oscar storyline as they are because it kind of feels like DiCaprio just should have an Oscar by now. Sure, there have been some clunkers on his resume, but overall he tends to pick quality projects that he’s good in. In fact, looking over his roles, especially of late, it’s hard not to think that his choices haven’t been curated for maximum award appeal. He has notably turned down some pretty iconic roles in blockbusters – smart move in passing on the Star Wars prequels – and instead has carefully selected more “prestige” projects, often with his directorial muse Martin Scorsese (a man who also knows a little something about waiting for an Oscar win). Honestly, it’s a little surprising that his nomination this year is only his fifth acting nod from the Academy – and one of those was for Blood Diamond, which is not one of his best performances. Perhaps the Academy has decided that DiCaprio is already living a pretty charmed life and his Oscar drought will make up for his abundance of riches. Build character. Humble him. It’s possible that we are all far more upset about DiCaprio’s failure to win than he is and that we are projecting on to him our own need for approval and recognition. I sincerely doubt this is in fact the case, but it is plausible. Maybe he isn’t chasing that sweet Oscar gold like we think.

It turns out that whether or not Leonardo DiCaprio’s sense of self-worth is intertwined with validation from the Academy of Motion Pictures is a moot point. Because the first thing that I tell people when they ask my thoughts about The Revenant is that the streak is about to come to the end. By the end of the 2016 Oscar telecast, Leonardo DiCaprio will be an Oscar winner.

And if he somehow doesn’t win, I don’t know what he’s going to have to do to get one. He may have to literally die on camera.

The Revenant seems to be a divisive movie; the people that I’ve talked to have either loved it or straight up hated it. I’m something of an anomaly in that I generally liked the movie, but wasn’t blown away by it. The detractors of the film have some points – The Revenant is way too long and the story meanders at a molasses-like pace – but ultimately I think that it is worth the extra effort to stick with the movie. It’s beautifully shot, well-acted and I became far more invested than I anticipated in the story and the outcome. The Revenant is not necessarily an easy watch; it punishes its actors and by extension it punishes its viewers. It is an endurance test for everyone involved. This is a raw story with plenty of violence and suffering, but it’s also a story of survival and revenge.

The Revenant is the story of Hugh Glass (DiCaprio), a guide for a hunting party in the wilderness of Montana and South Dakota. He is accompanied by his teenaged son Hawk (Forrest Goodluck), who is the product of Glass’ relationship with a Pawnee Indian. The group is under siege by the Arikara Indians and forced to flee after losing many of their men and supplies. The commander of the group (Domhnall Gleeson) puts his faith in Glass for getting them to safety, which doesn’t sit well with trapper John Fitzgerald (Tom Hardy). Fitzgerald thinks he knows better and is far more concerned with their payday than the chain of command. When Glass is grievously injured and vulnerable, Fitzgerald takes advantage of the situation to kill Hawk and leave Glass for dead. Glass, however, isn’t so easy to kill and het sets off to seek revenge on the man that killed his son – assuming that he can survive the brutal wilderness.

What I think is most interesting about DiCaprio’s stellar performance is how different it is from anything that he’s done before. Most of the acting is physical; there are long stretches of the film where DiCaprio utters no actual words other than grunts. His dashing good looks do him absolutely no good in this movie as he is dragging his body across a frozen tundra or trying to survive being swept into rapids. Glass is put through the ringer physically and emotionally, which DiCaprio is beautifully able to convey. It was kind of fascinating to see an actor stripped of all his obvious strengths and give this very raw and primal performance. Shooting this film was apparently hell and while I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, the results are on the screen. You can see why DiCaprio would accept this challenge – not just for the potential Oscar bait, but for the challenge of it all. The Revenant pushes him in a way no other movie he’s ever done could.

Tom Hardy is also truly fantastic in this film; while DiCaprio is getting a lot of (well deserved) attention for his role, Hardy is the secret weapon of this movie. Hardy doesn’t have to run the gauntlet like DiCaprio, but his performance as the man who sets everything in motion is just as important. I am constantly impressed with Hardy’s ability to seemingly play everything and he quickly makes Fitzgerald a memorable character. You can’t take your eyes off him and he provides a necessary counterpoint to DiCaprio. He completely disappears into the role. Hardy’s nomination is just as deserving.

As spectacular as the acting performances are, The Revenant is a director’s movie and Alejandro González Iñárritu creates a cinematic masterpiece. This film is brutal, but it is also absolutely gorgeous. Iñárritu’s decisions behind the camera lead to some truly remarkable shots that makes this movie more visceral and intense. The camera occasionally gets so close to DiCaprio that his breath almost frosts the camera and the choices made in the point of the view of the bear attack make that scene much more visceral. The camera work in The Revenant takes this movie to the next level.

That being said, I do think that The Revenant could have been about 45 minutes shorter. There are definitely some slow moments and diversion that if removed would have told a more efficient story. The Revenant is punishing, but I think it would have been just as effective with less flashbacks and long pauses. I’ll admit that there were moments where I was a little bored and my mind started to wonder. Two hours and 45 minutes is a lot to ask of an audience, especially for a move that is as draining as The Revenant. Streamlining the story, just a little, might have pushed this film closer to a masterpiece.

The Revenant is absolutely not for everyone. It is long. It is violent. It is occasionally slow. Animals are killed (not gratuitously). You will probably walk out of the theater somewhat emotionally exhausted. For me, the journey was absolutely worth it. The performances were top notch and by the time the climactic final scene occurs, I was completely stressed out and had absolutely no idea what was going to happen. It’s not a movie I could ever imagine myself revisiting, but I’m glad that I saw it. The Revenant is challenging and draining, but I couldn’t pull myself away.

Pop Culture Odds and Ends – Snow Day edition

Another day, another snowstorm – I am really beginning to hate living in Upstate New York. It’s been a bad winter for everyone and the fact that Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow is not a good omen. We’re getting up to a foot today and there are rumblings of a Nor’easter headed our way on Sunday. This may be the winter that finally breaks me.

Thankfully I am working from home today so I don’t have to go out in this mess and I am looking forward to participating in a conference call this morning while still in my pajamas. I feel terrible for the people who don’t have that luxury or who don’t have a very understanding boss and are bracing this weather to go into work today. Stay safe!

For those of you that are snowed in, hopefully my biweekly roundup of pop culture stories will help keep you warm and make you forget about all the white stuff piling up outside. Maybe there’s even a thing or two in here to help you keep the kids entertained.

• In honor of the weather, check out this side by side comparison of the beginning of The Walking Dead and Atlanta after 2 inches of snow paralyzed the city:

http://www.screenjunkies.com

• Jesse Eisenberg will play Lex Luthor in Batman vs. Superman; Jeremy Irons will play Alfred. Spot on casting in my opinion.

• Quentin Tarantino’s Hateful Eight may be back on.

• It’s official – Jonathan Banks has joined the cast of Better Call Saul.

• Broadway dimmed its lights in memory of Philip Seymour Hoffman.

• Hoffman’s death will not delay the release for The Hunger Games: Mockingjay.

• Roger Ebert had hoped that Hoffman would play him in a movie.

• Jimmy Fallon takes over The Tonight Show February 17^th. He gave an interview to Vulture about the transition. He also interviewed himself for Men’s Health.

• Jay Leno’s last The Tonight Show will be Thursday February 6^th. Let’s hope it sticks this time.

• You can now watch the Seinfeld-inspired episode of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee that was promoted during the Super Bowl.

• The greatest gift that the Obama Administration has given us is the We the People petition website, which Americans have done a great job of abusing. Now the White House will have to weigh in on deporting Justin Bieber.

• I wonder how many people lost cash betting on the Super Bowl because of The Simpsons?

• Benedict Cumberbatch dropped by Sesame Street:

 

• Courtney Love has a Pinterest account. Huh…I guess everyone really is on Pinterest.

• Scott Bakula will star in a NCIS spinoff.

• Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill are reteaming to tell the story of the accused Atlanta Olympic bomber.

• The extremely photogenic Timothy Olyphant talked sports with Sports Illustrated.

• The new season drops next week, but House of Cards has been renewed for a third season.

• A psychiatrist analyzes the characters on Girls.

• Jennifer Love Hewitt was almost Robin on How I Met Your Mother.

• Matt Damon is returning to Jimmy Kimmel Live!

• Here’s some scoop on the How I Met Your Mother spinoff.

• Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling has second thoughts about pairing off Ron and Hermione.

• George Zimmerman (yup – THAT Ziimerman) wants to box Kanye West. He’ll box rapper DMX instead. No good can come of any of this.

• It was only a matter of time….ABC orders a pilot about selfies.

• The 2014 Emmy awards ceremony will be on a Monday in August. What is this madness????

• David O. Russell wants Jennifer Lawrence to play the inventor of the Miracle Mop. I’d trust this duo to do just about anything.

• Speaking of J Law, her affection for Doritos posed a problem for the costume department on American Hustle.

• Interesting – Liam Neeson joins the cast of Scorsese’s Silence.

• Scorsese is also making a New York Review of Books documentary.

• The actors of Veronica Mars will be live-tweeting a re-watch of the series.

• The good people of Savannah, GA had to watch the same boring Super Bowl that the rest of us did, but they also got to watch this ridiculously epic local commercial for a personal injury lawyer:

They are the clear winners of Super Bowl Sunday.

• Keep calm and Sharknado on – both Ian Ziering and Tara Reid are officially on board for the sequel.

• Matthew McConaughey and Amy Adams will appear on this season of Inside the Actors Studio.

• McConaughey will star in Gus Van Sant’s Sea of Trees.

• Will Channing Tatum play Gambit from The X-Men? Sounds positive.

• First Lady Michelle Obama is now a fan of Scandal. I still need to get into this show!

• Howard Stern had a pretty awesome 60^th birthday party.

• Josh Gad is being considered for the Thing in the Fantastic Four reboot.

• The Ben Affleck and Matt Damon comedy gets a pilot order at CBS.

• Aaron Paul’s Need for Speed will be available in 3-D.

• This may be the most I’ve ever liked Vin Diesel – the actor posted a video of himself dancing to Katy Perry.

• There is going to be a True Romance fest in Burbank this year.

• Pharrell will perform at the Oscars.

• Cate Blanchett, Kyle Chandler and Rooney Mara will be part of a love triangle in an upcoming Todd Haynes movie.

• David Schwimmer (the lost Friend) is returning to TV in a pilot for ABC.

• Last time it was Liberace, this time it’s Peter Pan. Bill Murray knows how to make an entrance:

 

• New York Magazine chats with Lorne Michaels.

• Read a Friends script written by an 8 year old.

• Ex-SNL castmember Victoria Jackson is running for Congress.

• Dylan Farrow, the adopted daughter of Woody Allen, wrote an open letter to the New York Times chronicling childhood sexual abuse at the hands of the director.

• Steve Carell’s college mustache is OUTSTANDING:

http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/1wnd9x/was_looking_in_my_moms_college_yearbook_and_came/

• A NYC restaurant has a Beyoncé- themed Valentine’s Day menu.

• Rutgers is offering a course on Queen B.

• Red Hot Chili Peppers are heading into the studio to record a new album.

• Astute viewers noted that the RHCP’s instruments weren’t plugged in during the halftime show; Flea explains why in this post.

• Zooey Deschanel is producing an animated modern fairytale for FOX.

• NBC has (wisely) cancelled Sean Saves the World.

• My Little Pony unveils customizable figures.

• TBS has ordered a comedy competition show from Marlon Wayans.

• Lifetime is doing a sequel to their adaptation of Flowers in the Attic (which wasn’t good, but wasn’t as terrible as I had anticipated).

• I don’t know that there was any doubt, but Thor 3 will happen.

• A gag reel from Thor: The Dark World:

 

• Did you know that Tom Hiddleston originally auditioned for the role of Thor before becoming Loki? It’s true – and we have the shirtless video to prove it.

• An official LEGO Ghostbusters set is happening.

• A sequel to The LEGO Movie is already being planned; the original film will be released Friday.

• David Beckham – fan of LEGOs. He just became more perfect.

• You can now play with LEGOs online.

• Linda Cardellini has joined the Kyle Chandler Netflix drama.

• One unknown perk of winning the Super Bowl – you get to hang out with Beyoncé and Jay Z:

@BrooklynNets

• Will Ferrell is the latest celeb to do a Reddit AMA.

• I’m not even a Star Wars fan, but even I respect this AT-AT rocking horse.

• Adult Swim is adding another hour of programming.

• Billy Bob Thorton has joined the cast of the Entourage movie. Did he lose a bet?

• Bruce Willis is reteaming with M. Night Shyamalan. Bad career decisions for everyone!

• I have a lot of questions after this headline: Sara Bareilles Fires Manager, Jonah Hill’s Brother, After Grammy Brawl with Sharon Osbourne.

• HA! Shirley Manson took Buzzfeed’s “What 90s Alt Rock Girl Are You?” quiz – and didn’t get herself.

• Neil Gaimain reads Green Eggs and Ham for charity

 

• Great Scott! A Back to the Future musical is in the works.

• Penny Marshall and Lorraine Bracco will play a lesbian couple on an upcoming episode of the new sitcom Mulaney (starring comedian John Mulaney, who I saw at the Oddball Comedy Festival).

• This week in celebrity real-estate: the Magnum P.I. house and the Groundhog Day B&B are for sale. So is one of Jay Z’s old stash spots.

• Flappy Birds – the  game app that is slowly driving me insane. How can a game that seems so easy be so *($*&(* difficult??

• Eddie Cahill is headed Under the Dome.

• Tea Leone will star in CBS’s Madame Secretary about a female Secretary of State, which is obviously not based on anyone in particular.

• Bad new Amazon Prime members – a huge price hike may be coming.

• Before the Super Bowl, Aziz Ansari tweeted some Friday Night Lights fan-fiction.

• BJ Novak’s role in The Amazing Spiderman 2 has been revealed.

• Ken Marino will join Casey Wilson in NBC’s new sitcom Marry Me.

• Former Olympian Tara Lipinksi skated a The Big Lebowski-themed routine on Fallon:

 

• Watch Tyrese Gibson’s audition tape for Django Unchained.

• I blogged about the film first, but UPROXX has an interview with the director of The Great Chicken Wing Hunt.

• Michael Pitt will appear on Hannibal.

• Bradley Cooper will play a WWII-era cop in Dark Invasion.

• Dexter’s Jennifer Carpenter lands a pilot at ABC.

• Ryan Phillippe is also headed to ABC.

• A filmmaker has raised $11,000+ to adapt a piece of Sherlock slash-fiction.

• There is a Sherlock themed café in Shanghai.

• Pitch Perfect 2 will be released May 15, 2015. Elizabeth Banks will direct.

• Gucci has named Jessica Springsteen (daughter of Bruce) an equestrian ambassador.

• Helen Mirren twerked after receiving the Hasty Pudding award at Harvard.

• Robert Evans is producing a series based on 70s era Hollywood.

• Adam Brody sat down with Nylon and doesn’t imagine his The O.C. alter-ego Seth Cohen had a very rosy future.

• Conan is the king of the remote segments; in this one, he tries to sell some of his old memorabilia:

–

 

• Daniel Radcliff will play Lee Atwater in the upcoming film College Republicans.

• The Oscars rescinded their nomination of Alone Yet Not Alone for Best Original Song.

• The cover for Vanity Fair’s Hollywood issue has been revealed:

Julia Roberts is one lucky duck!

• For those of you who are so inclined: 20 Twitter accounts to follow during the Olympics.

• I kind of wish that this was coming North – a The Walking Dead obstacle course.

• Top Chef renewed for a 12^th season.

• Grace Gummer is joining the cast of Halle Berry’s Extant on CBS.

• The Writers Guild Awards were handed out last weekend. Here’s the full list of winners.

• The Cure is releasing a new album.

• Disney is reviving Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers.

• NBC has ordered more episodes of Chicago P.D.

• Tony Hale will appear on NBC’s About A Boy.

• CW has ordered a pilot for a Supernatural spinoff.

Trailers:

• Seth MacFarlane’s A Million Ways to Die in the West (Red Band – NSFW):

 

• Kevin Costner’s Draft Day:

 

• Transformers: Age of Extinction:

 

• The Amazing Spider-Man 2:

 

• 24: Live Another Day:

 

• Vampire Academy:

 

• Liam Neeson in Non-Stop:

 

• From Dusk Til Dawn – the series:

 

• A trailer for the video game Thief:

 

• The Amanda Knox story inspired a feature film, Face of an Angel:

 

• The final Divergent trailer:

 

• Star Wars National Football League helmets.

• Mila Kunis is the new face of Jim Beam.

• No big whoop – just Leonardo DiCaprio, Lenny Kravitz and Bradley Cooper hanging out at a NYC pizzeria Super Bowl weekend.

• Another interesting trio: Aaron Paul, Rob Thomas and Bill Murray at a Kings of Leon concert:

@ThisisRobThomas

• Don’t hold your breath for an honorary Beastie Boys street in NYC.

• Animator Arthur Rankin, Jr., who was responsible for holiday classics like Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, passed away.

• Cher and Cyndi Lauper are going on out tour together. THAT will be a fun show!

• Universal TV is developing an adaptation of Stephen King’s Ayana.

• A lawsuit will prevent Carly Rae Jepsen and Owl City from collecting any royalties from their song “Good Time” for the time being.

• Tumblr of the week: Awkward Taylor Swift Dancing.

• Twitter account of the week: @Shining_Twins

• Kit Harrington (Jon Snow from Game of Thrones) will co-star in a WWI biopic.

• This week is Beatles week at Late Night with David Letterman.

• Is there a strategy to winning on Jeopardy?

• Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks are reuniting for a project.

• Lauren Cohan (Maggie, The Walking Dead) is loaning her voice to Archer.

• Reggie Watts has a new web series.

• You’d be surprised how similar Willy Wonka and Walter White are.

• 2 coaches featured on the reality show Friday Night Tykes have been suspended.

• Bill Hader may join Amy Schumer’s Trainwreck.

• The ladies behind the hilarious show Broad City are going out on tour.

• This artist reimagined Hipster Batman and Hipster X-Men.

• As a fan of the original cult classic, I was impressed with this trailer for a fake Warriors reboot:

 

• Ice-T and his wife CoCo are hosting a talk show.

• There were beer drones? Why am I just hearing about this now that they are grounded?

• Olivia Newton-John will do a residency in Las Vegas.

• Ron Perlman has been cast in Amazon’s Hand of God.

As always, we end with the Supercuts and Mashups

• A supercut of Oscar visual effects winners:

 

• A Superman vs. Jesse Eisenberg supercut:

 

• Grumpy Cat in Frozen:

• This supercut ignores the so-called plot of the first 3 Transformers movies and just focuses on the actual transforming:

 

• A mashup of every Harrison Ford movie:

 

• Mr. Freeze sings “Let it Go”

 

• And finally, a supercut of all of Tina’s moans on Bob’s Burgers:

 

Spring can’t get here quickly enough!